No substitute

Professora Estrelina has left me to teach classes while she takes a break to work on her thesis. Her hiatus from class was initially going to be three weeks, but has been extended to four weeks instead. This isn’t the first time she’s left me to teach her classes. She was gone for over three months the last time she was away, but somehow this time around I’m more worried about teaching than the last.

The last time I was left to teach, our group had not yet become a associated with Filhos de Bimba. This allowed me a little more freedom in what I was allowed to teach in terms of movements. I could play the berimbau, but I couldn’t play and sing at the same time. I spent a lot of time worrying that I wasn’t going to be able to meet the expectations of the class or Professora, but all I could do was stick to what I knew (which was not much).

This time around I’m still sticking to what I know, which almost seems like less than I knew before. Since officially becoming a Filhos de Bimba nucleus there are movements that are no longer done. We have had to re-learn rhythms on the berimbau and pandeiro. I am still struggling with music. My berimbau playing has improved, but I still have trouble singing and playing at the same time. These are all technical elements, the easy stuff. What I worry about more is the philosophy and spirit that Filhos de Bimba embodies. I have never had the chance to train at another Filhos de Bimba school and my only official first hand experience with them was during Mestre Nenel’s visit in May. As I have said before, that experience was extraordinary, but is it really enough to give a me what I need to teach? I know our Professora is still learning about this too, but she has had much, much more first hand experience than I have. She’s designated me the substitute teacher, but I feel that I’m no substitute.

Still, the experience of teaching is a good one. This time around I am reminded of something I realized in my past teaching experiences, not just in capoeira. Every student needs something different. They all learn in different ways. A good teacher will find a way to reach every student, whether it’s in which details are taught, what instructions are given or even how instructions are given. Teaching, if you care to do it well, forces us to re-examine what we think we already know. It helps us deepen our understanding of things. Your students also often give you a unique opportunity of reflection. They can give you something to be proud of and they can tell you what you need to work on yourself without saying a word.

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