The Conversations of the Game

Amongst other things, capoeira is a game that is played between two people. The game is often likened to a conversation or a dialogue between two people.

Here are some conversations I have had or witnessed in capoeira:

So….hi.

….hi.

What now?

I’m not sure.

How about…

How about, oh, I’m sorry.

No, no. Go ahead.

Are you sure?

Hello. How are you?

Um…I’m okay. A little nervous.

That’s okay. Just relax and try to have fun.

Really?

Yeah. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it.

Okay, I’ll try.

Hey. You’re new, right?

Um….yeah.

Don’t worry. I’ll show you the ropes.

Yeah? Thanks!

No problem.

Ow! WTF!

Hahaha.

Hey. How’s it going?

Not bad you?

Not bad.

Cool. So where do you train?

I train with X.

Oh really? Let’s see what you’ve got.

Relax. I’m just here to play.

Hey. How’s it going.

Good and you?

Good. Hey, check this out!

Nice! Check this out.

What did you do today?

Work. Nothing too exciting. Check this out.

Nice! Check this out.

How’s it going?

Good.

Check this out!

Check this out!

(Both) Hey everybody, check me out!

Are you still here?

Hi.

How are you?

Not bad. How was your day?

Not too eventful. I got some reading on the origins of capoeira done.

Yeah? That’s an interesting story. It’s a very foggy one.

Yeah, there are so many accounts. It’s no wonder that capoeira is such an interesting art.

Agreed. There’s so much more than meets the eye.

Hey, I’ve gotta go, but it was nice chatting with you.

Likewise.

I was at an event not long ago that made me think about this and this is sort of a lead up to another post. It got me thinking about the differences between the various styles of capoeira and the differences between the various capoeira schools/groups here in Toronto. On a more personal level, the event made me question how I fit into the world of capoeira.

I thought I was losing something

Wednesday night was my first day back in class after a week off. Before class I was exhausted and really stressed out. I almost didn’t go to class and maybe I shouldn’t have but I went anyway. I went because I knew that I usually feel better after a class.

“Usually” is not the same as “always”. I was really tired, but I did my best to keep my head in class, but as I stated in my last post I just couldn’t find my rhythm. Not only that, but after class I didn’t feel any better. I was still exhausted, still stressed and stressed about having a bad class. What worried me more was that I thought capoeira was losing its meaning for me. At a time in my life when there is so much stress I certainly didn’t want to lose hold of capoeira….or perhaps it’s more appropriate to say that I didn’t want capoeira to lose it’s hold on me.

Friday night, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to class, but I went anyway in the hopes that it would make me feel better. That and I had promised a friend that I would join him for his birthday celebrations afterwards at a nearby restaurant.

Class did make me feel better. I still struggled to find my rhythm and I’m not entirely sure I did find it, but it is coming back to me. I was glad too that I got a chance to celebrate wit my friend.

How quickly we forget.

After a month long stretch of substitute teaching, I took a week off from class. Upon my return I struggled to find my rhythm once again. I usually have a good feel for the rhythm when I play, but last night I just couldn’t feel the rhythm.

No substitute

Professora Estrelina has left me to teach classes while she takes a break to work on her thesis. Her hiatus from class was initially going to be three weeks, but has been extended to four weeks instead. This isn’t the first time she’s left me to teach her classes. She was gone for over three months the last time she was away, but somehow this time around I’m more worried about teaching than the last.

The last time I was left to teach, our group had not yet become a associated with Filhos de Bimba. This allowed me a little more freedom in what I was allowed to teach in terms of movements. I could play the berimbau, but I couldn’t play and sing at the same time. I spent a lot of time worrying that I wasn’t going to be able to meet the expectations of the class or Professora, but all I could do was stick to what I knew (which was not much).

This time around I’m still sticking to what I know, which almost seems like less than I knew before. Since officially becoming a Filhos de Bimba nucleus there are movements that are no longer done. We have had to re-learn rhythms on the berimbau and pandeiro. I am still struggling with music. My berimbau playing has improved, but I still have trouble singing and playing at the same time. These are all technical elements, the easy stuff. What I worry about more is the philosophy and spirit that Filhos de Bimba embodies. I have never had the chance to train at another Filhos de Bimba school and my only official first hand experience with them was during Mestre Nenel’s visit in May. As I have said before, that experience was extraordinary, but is it really enough to give a me what I need to teach? I know our Professora is still learning about this too, but she has had much, much more first hand experience than I have. She’s designated me the substitute teacher, but I feel that I’m no substitute.

Still, the experience of teaching is a good one. This time around I am reminded of something I realized in my past teaching experiences, not just in capoeira. Every student needs something different. They all learn in different ways. A good teacher will find a way to reach every student, whether it’s in which details are taught, what instructions are given or even how instructions are given. Teaching, if you care to do it well, forces us to re-examine what we think we already know. It helps us deepen our understanding of things. Your students also often give you a unique opportunity of reflection. They can give you something to be proud of and they can tell you what you need to work on yourself without saying a word.

A change in ambition?

I once said to my teacher that I have no ambition to become a Professor in capoeira for the sake of having that title. I am happy just to train and continue to grow as a capoeirista and a person. Since Mestre Nenel’s visit there has been a slight shift in my thinking. I still do not care for the title of  “Professor”, but I do feel a greater obligation to Capoeira Regional. Not the sense of obligation that is forced upon someone, but the sense of obligation that comes from the feeling of being part of something greater.

Mestre Nenel’s visit brought me that sense of being part of something greater. The whole experience helped to solidify my path in capoeira. Capoeira Regional is something that I want to explore and experience more deeply. It’s also something I enjoy sharing with others, but if I am to share it with others….to  help continue the traditions, principals and philosophies of Capoeira Regional, I want to be true to the art form. I want to make sure that I have the approval of  Mestre Nenel….maybe ‘approval’ is not quite the right word. I want to know that he has faith that I will continue the work of his father and his own. To this end I hope one day to become a Formado of Capoeira Regional. I have a long way to go and so much to learn. Even if I do achieve the title of Formado or Professor one day, I know that I will always be a student of Capoeira Regional first.

Mestre Nenel has come and gone.

Last week Mestre Nenel visited us from Brazil to officially inaugurate our group as a Filhos de Bimba nucleus here in Toronto.  Mestre Nenel also led a week full of workshops,  classes and talks.  It was an incredible experience for all of us who had a chance to spend time with him.

There is so much that could be said about the experience….I’ll write more when I have a little more time. For now, here are some personal highlights:

• I passed the first three stars or Estrelas in the Filhos de Bimba system.
• I had a chance to play with some new capoeira friends….and an old friend.
• I heard Mestre Nenel play the berimbau.
• I seem to be stuck with my nickname….don’t get me wrong, it’s a great name, I just hope I can live up to it.
• I was made fun of all week by Mestre Nenel….I did get one back on him though.

As I said, there is so much to write about that I can’t do it all now, but to give you some idea of what kind of experience it was , here’s an excerpt from some words I said after our final roda with Mestre Nenel:

Like you, Mestre, I am very shy. But on an occasion such as this I feel it’s important for me to put that aside.

First, I would like to thank you,Mestre Nenel, for coming all the way from Salvador and sharing your knowledge, wisdom and spirit with us here in Toronto. This past week has been a tremendous experience for all of us. It has been especially great for me for unlike many of the other students here I have yet to travel to Brazil and unlike some, this is my first encounter with you. For me, the most powerful experience I will take away from your visit was to hear you speak about what capoeira is. The clarity and humility of your words are surely the sign of a true master. When you said that capoeira is simply capoeira and that of Mestre Bimba’s thousands of students each of them had their own style it became clear to me that we must all find our own path in capoeira. This doesn’t mean that we cannot share the same path and it certainly does not mean that we must find it alone….

Estrelas

Some of my fellow capoeiristas and I have been preparing for exams that are to take place in about three weeks’ time. We will be grading for “Estrelas” in the Filhos de Bimba grading system.

I’ve never practiced capoeira with specific requirements in mind, so the last few weeks have had an additional focus. It has been an interesting experience because many of the required skills and techniques are not particularly difficult while there are a couple of requirements that I will struggle with because I lack flexibility.

This will be the first time (to the best of my knowledge) that these exams will be performed here in Toronto. I am curious to see how we do as Canadian students in an exam that was developed in the setting of Bahian culture.

Something missing

So  few weeks ago I felt that I had lost my swing. I think I have the swing back, but now I feel there is something else missing. I’m not quite sure what it is.

If I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

First School

After I finished university I moved back to my home town of Ottawa. I knew I wanted to continue training in martial arts . Initially I was hoping to continue in  the Filipino arts and JKD but few schools of these arts existed in Ottawa. I found some schools that offered these arts as classes but were not dedicated to them. This however was not the biggest problem I encountered in my search. I wasn’t able to find a teacher that I felt suited me. One was too arrogant and seemed to look down on me at our first and only meeting because of my previous experience with martial arts. Another seemed too intent on hurting people for me.

Discouraged from my search, I remembered that capoeira had piqued my interest. So did some research and found a group that practiced in a couple of locations in downtown Ottawa. I showed up for my first class at the Arts Court one weekday evening. That’s where I first met Fabio, a capoeirista who had come from Recife, Brazil. A teacher with the group Chapeu de Couro. My first class would destroy the bottoms of my feet, but I persevered and now about nine years later I enjoy capoeira more than ever.

Why Capoeira?

I feel I should start with some thoughts on martial arts in general before I answer this question. As you’ve seen I have had a chance to try my hand at many martial arts and they all have their own respective appeal. Throughout my experiences with martial arts I have developed my own perspective on and philosophy of martial arts.

I don’t believe that any one art is better than all the rest in and of itself and I don’t believe that any true martial arts master would argue differently. To me the difference from one art to the next is in their approach or focus. Training in some arts begins with empty hand fighting and others start with weapons training. Some focus on the use of the hands while others focus more on the feet. I could go on, but the point is that they are different from each other, but they all have the same goal; to give their practitioner the ability to defend themselves.

That being said, if my sole purpose in learning a martial art was to learn how to defend myself or how to fight I probably would have chosen something other than capoeira. With that purpose in mind I have in fact chosen other arts over capoeira. That’s not to say that I believe that capoeira does not teach you how to defend yourself. I just believe that there are more direct approaches. So if not to learn how to fight, why do I practice capoeira?

More than any other art that I have practiced, capoeira is taught as a cultural art. From the very beginning you are exposed to ritual, music, philosophy and history along with the physical challenge of the movements of capoeira. The beginning stages of my training in most other arts has always been focused primarily on the physical aspect of the art. It’s not until later that you begin to understand a martial art’s connection with the culture that developed it. All martial arts can be considered cultural arts, but perhaps it’s their commercialization that has allowed the martial aspect to dominate the cultural aspect of these arts. It is a bit unfair of me to say this. I am aware that schools and teachers do exist who strive to maintain the cultural identity of martial arts, but chances are good that if you ask the average person walking down the street to describe a particular martial art they will describe some aspect of fighting. Karate – kicking and punching, Jujitsu – wrestling or grappling, Filipino martial arts – stick and knife fighting. Ask them about capoeira and you might get an answer like, “Isn’t that like a dance?”

Well, yes. It is like a dance in many ways. Capoeira is played along to music with a partner. It follows the rhythm of the music. Its movements are very rhythmic. There is co-ordination with your partner. But it is much more than a dance. There is something very soothing about feeling your body flow with the rhythm and move in concert with your partner. The opportunity to strike your partner or drop them to the ground at moment’s notice is always there, but it is up to the player to decide if they wish to do so. If I drop someone or if I get dropped, it’s just part of the game and no one goes away angry afterwards.

This post isn’t supposed to be about what capoeira is. It’s supposed to be about why I play capoeira and what feel when I play capoeira. What I feel when I play capoeira is that there is nothing but the roda. All that matters at that moment is what is happening inside the roda. I can feel the music and the energy that is generated by all the people forming the roda. If I am part of the roda, I am part of creating the music and energy. I feed off the energy of the others. I lend my voice to the songs and clap my hands to the rhythm. When I’m inside the roda, I draw on the roda’s energy to move with my partner.

There is more. I enjoy the physical challenges of capoeira. I also enjoy the challenge of learning music and language. Beyond that I am learning that the lessons I learn in the roda also apply to other aspects of my life….that life is reflected in the roda. For me, life inside the roda feels so much more comfortable than my real life.